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OFFICIAL PRESS/Anonymous Connections

Anonymous Selections: Dorm Stories






What exactly can you expect from living in dorms? Speaking from personal experience alone, there have been more than a handful of incidents that I never thought could happen, but happened. The following are recollections from other fellow Berkeley students who chose to share their own stories:

 

 

My “friend” Jalil would just never leave my room so he could talk to my roommate. My roommate fled to Dubai the next semester. Well done Jalil.

 

I woke up and went to the restroom, and saw red liquid and remnants in the sink. I thought someone had thrown up blood and was quite worried, but turns out, someone had thrown up hot cheetos.

 

When I was a freshman, my friends and I were drinking in my friend's dorm room. We were caught by the RAs and received a warning letter from the Office of Student Development for violating the UC Berkeley Code of Student Conduct. Some other people were smoking weed in the building, and we were falsely accused of doing that as well. My friend’s roommate, who had never drunk or smoked before and wasn’t there that night, was also charged of alcohol possession and smoking, and cried contemplating her life was over. It was fine though.

 

Needing to shit in the co-ed bathroom but seeing your floormate that you have a crush on so you go on a different floor.

 

I remember last year as a freshman in my second semester, my roommate would never come back to our room except for one time he dumped a shit ton of items from Costco. Turned out the bag was full of raw meat and Hawaiian sausages that dampened the floor and smelled absolutely like shit. It smelled like a dehydrated banana had oral sex with a 40-year-old kiwi.

 

I went to Columbia to visit my girlfriend and stayed in my other friend’s dorm room. My friend went out to party and I was in my room when two girls knocked on the door. When I opened it, they turned off the lights and asked me, “do you wanna play a game?” I had a girlfriend so I said no, and the next day the guy next doors was telling everyone on the floor how he had an unexpected threesome. Looking back I regret it.

 

My friends and I were planning to go clubbing but plans didn’t work out so we decided to hit bangers inside my room and dance. When I left for the bathroom, the RA knocked on the door and asked my friends to be quiet. Drunk, my friends thought the RA was me and screamed at him to come inside quickly and dance. I came in later, and they figured what happened. We turned off the music and meditated.

 

I played a Nutella prank on my roommate by pretending to smear shit on his hands in the bathroom. He almost passed out and fell into his toilet.

 

My friend was a master debater in high school, and he was also a persistent masturbater in college. He would use the top bunk in our room so when me and my friend would study, we could hear the whole bedframe shake at night.


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