The Modern Knight
Sir Loin: And what would you like me to do with all these heads my Lord? Shall I hang them from our nation’s flags so that our enemies can see our victories?
King Angus the Third: My my, aren’t you cunning. Go ahead and do so.
Sir Loin: Of course, my liege. My Lord, may I ask you something.
King Angus the Third: Go on.
Sir Loin: Me Lord, it’s just that… (looks at the ground).
King Angus the Third: Go on lad, you did me proud during the war. You remind me of your father, just so much younger. What is the matter?
Sir Loin: I was just wondering… can I take one of these heads back to my crib?
King Angus the Third: Crib? My my, have you a son Sir Loin? This is great news!
Sir Loin: Err, no I’m fifteen sire. I meant my crib back at home.
King Angus the Third: A son at home! It’s always great to return to a baby after war.
Sir Loin: (Scratching his head) Uhh, never mind. Sire, will you be as so kind to permit me to go to Brattenborough? I’ve heard a wild rumour that they’ve got a Burger King there.
King Angus the Third: Burger King, you say?
Sir Loin: Yes, my liege, indeed they do I do declare.
King Angus the Third: I did not know that there was a Burger King in Brattenborough.
Sir Loin: Yes there is me Lord.
King Angus the Third: Then I order you to bring me a Whopper.
Sir Loin: Of course sire, onion rings?
King Angus the Third: Yes, deep fried and a coke. Diet. No ice, sugar on the rim, large if you can.
Sir Loin: Will that be all my Lord?
King Angus the Third: Double the meat. Actually triple it, remove the damned lettuce and hold the mayo. (Pause). Was the mayor of Bratternborough granted permission to build a Burger King?
Sir Loin: I do not remember receiving a proposal sire.
King Angus the Third: Check, and if not, bring me the head of the mayor after you get the burger.
Sir Loin: Yes, me Lord.
King Angus the Third: Go on now, bring it back before sunset.
Sir Loin: I will take my noblest horse for this quest and kill any evil men in Brattenborough. Until then, I bid thee goodbye. (Grinning ear to ear, whilst heading out the door) WE EATING GOOD TONIGHT IN THE CRIB LOIN! (clears his throat) Oh my bad sire, that was a weird ass cough. I will return by sunset!