They say that a man’s first love follows him to the grave. Whether this holds true for all men, or even women, I do not know. What I do know is that a first love is bound to occupy a special place in one’s heart - but why is this? We go through first love not even knowing what love really is; it might not even be love, but an illusion of love constructed by our naïve minds - but who gets to determine love anyway? Benjamin Disraeli once said, “The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can ever end.” First love is, in essence, pure and innocent, oblivious to worldly judgments and obstacles. It transcends all boundaries, including wealth, family background, and ethnicity. What makes first love so memorable is its recklessness - we act on our immediate passions, and how we feel at that moment is the only thing that matters. We jump head first into the fire of romance, unconcerned about whether there is a way out. As we grow older, we become more cautious - even manipulative - and we are no longer capable of pure love. While first love may hold a special place in our hearts, we must move on. As James Weldon Johnson said, “She was my first love, and I loved her as only a boy loves.” We must move on to love as a man and as a woman, a more mature and understanding love, a love that has developed the practicality required for its survival in this world.
You’re walking side by side with your best “guy friend” (I’m a girl by the way), and his right hand accidentally touches your left hand, sending shivers down your spine.
Shyness overcomes you, so you slowly nudge him into random things.
The pushing war begins, but soon after he puts his arms around you from behind and whispers “truce” softly in your ear.
This is just one instance.
He looks at you a lot.
He leans toward you a lot.
He’s romantic (at least by your standards) and he cares about what you have to say – he cares about you.
He loves you.
All right hold up. Let’s slow down. So this scenario of best friends falling for each other could very well and does – all too often – happen, as with my current relationship. Many, though, theorize that such friendship kind of platonic, unconditional love cannot last and must at some point in time develop into a more passionate, intense kind of love that arouses romantic, sexual feelings. To this, I must object. Such a developmental process does not always occur, and it is actually a falsity to consider it a development to begin with. One of the most amazing people that you can encounter life is your best friend, and it could easily be someone of the opposite gender.
I met such a friend back in middle school – 8th grade to be more precise. To this day, I share my most special moment with him. He’s the person that knows me for all of my strengths and accepts me for my weaknesses – the person most sincere in congratulating me during my triumphs and the best shoulder to lean on during the lowest points of my life.
I mean, all of the above applies without factoring my boyfriend into the equation. Romantic love often overrules a platonic one – contrary to the unwritten law of “hoes before bros”.
So, basically, all I’m saying here is that guys and girls can be friends and nothing more…
P.S. To be completely honest, though, a very solid friendship requires a bit of swaying on both sides, both of which are kept secret – then, a gradual dying of those feelings into a stable platonic love.
Love: Long Distance
When we are in love, it is natural for us to wake up next to our loved ones, eat together, and spend the entire day together. But for some couples, a habitual good night kiss is physically impossible due to their distance from each other. Long distance relationships are not worth it; yes, it is true that some people can endure it, but it all boils down to patience. It is a huge challenge for any couple to physically not be together. Obviously, a relationship is not always about sex or physical touch, but nonetheless, the fact that your significant other is not with you impacts your relationship greatly. In any kind of relationship, face-to-face interactions are important, as in a romantic relationship. But if this is not possible due to physical distance, then it’s no longer a feasible relationship. Straightforwardly, I personally think a long distance relationship is something a couple should never attempt. If physical distance between a couple is creeping up, then it is better to end on good terms.